i never thought i’d write the words “deeply evil carpet” but. seriously. what a deeply evil carpet that is.
And what you should do is to put this over an actual trap, like a hole in the floor so people will be like “Oh ha ha ha that’s soooo funny, it’s a rug!” And then fall through it.
are you satan
|me:||whats your opinion on tampons|
|little brother:||they're little fuzzy sticks on strings|
|me:||then you are ultimately more mature than most boys|
|me:||for some reason tampons are gross and taboo just cuz they go in a vagina|
|little brother:||well so does a penis and boys never stop talking about those|
|me:||that is a fantastic point|
|Cop:||Have you been drinking?|
|Me:||I been drankin'|
Friendly reminder that yesterday when my mom took me to Walmart she left me alone in the toilet paper section and this guy started hitting on me and I said “Sorry, I’m a lesbian.” and he was like “Oh my god I’m so sorry I thought you were a boy.”
Soda just spewed out my nose
THAT WAS A PLOT TWIST